Did you know that June is Accordion awareness month? If you don’t believe me, go to www.letspolka.com and see for yourself. Wow, I didn’t know that the accordion was popular enough to have an entire month dedicated to its sweet sound. And Tucson has its own accordion fan club: the Accordion Club of Tucson (or ACT). Go to their website at www.accordionstucson.com and check out their awesome accordions!
After reading about accordion awareness month, I wanted to kick myself. To think I’ve wasted almost the entire month of June when I could have been appreciating the accordion for the last twenty-seven days! So, I guess I’ll just have to cram all that fun into the remaining few days!
I feel the first order of business for Accordion awareness month is to acknowledge the top accordion players of past, present and future.
10. Frankie Yankovic. This suave musical stud muffin was touted as America’s Polka King sometime in the 50’s or 60’s. I guess there’s a “real” story about Frankie and his music, but I’d rather make up one: Frankie was a real loser until one day in high school he picked up an accordion for the first time. It was like magic. With absolutely no lessons, Frankie was cranking out the tunage and the girls were swooning. Frankie blasted his way to stardom, his fame and fortune lasting about a week. But don’t fret, we’ll meet Frankie again.
9. Wilbur Warner. Unlike Frankie, Wilbur didn’t start playing the accordion until late in his life (when he turned 105), but he made up for lost time. Wilbur quickly turned into a retirement home sensation in the early 70’s, playing for the deaf, drugged and wheel-chair bound. He made a whirlwind tour of the old folk’s homes before retiring in 2002 when some old lady beat him silly with her cane so she “wouldn’t have to hear that awful music anymore.” Wilber, at the young age of 130, still dreams of reuniting with his groupies and touring again.
8. Johan “Fast Fingers” Fluberguston. Johan is Germany’s top accordion player. His fingers have been clocked at terrific speed of twenty-two miles an hour while he plays his black and white steed, which he calls Mr. Ed. You can still find Johan playing at all the best Oktoberfests in Europe, jamming on his accordion and drinking free beer until he pukes.
7. Rocking Jimmy Henderson. His real name is Marion Blunderkip, but he fashioned himself after the 60’s rocker Jimi Hendrix. Too bad he chose an accordion instead of electric guitar. He never made it as big as Hendrix and most historians believe it was due to his choice of pants, not his hairstyle, but we’ll never know.
6. Leila Horner. Not ALL great accordion players are men and Leila Horner has shown she’s got what it takes to be one of the best. This picture, early in her career, shows her playing in front of an Osco Drug store for change. When she made it big, she moved up to Walgreen’s.
Here’s a picture of her after two years on the drug store accordion circuit.
5. Weird Al Yankovic. This mega-music star has taken accordion music from the beer halls of Germany to mainstream USA. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive him.
4. Manny, Moe and Jack. This creative trio who called themselves The Polkaholics, hit the Polka music industry by storm with their debut album, Polka Can’t Die in the late 1964. Unfortunately, they were wrong and someone put Polka out of its misery in early 1965. These three were resilient though and decided to put their musical talent to use in a different way … buying cheap car parts stores. You can still get free accordion lessons when buying a set of four radials at any Pep Boys store.
3. Frankie Yankovic resurrected. Frankie tried a comeback in 2007, ten years AFTER his death. Although initial sales for Frankie were solid, they dropped of considerable when fans found out he was actually dead and Milli Vanilli was lip syncing and moving his hands with wires.
2. Tommy “Two Hands” Thompson. Tommy is a musical prodigy. At the tender age of five, he can play accordion like a season veteran. Too bad he’ll be classified as a nerd whose mother dresses him funny for the rest of his life. I guess fame and fortune as one of the world’s top accordion players has its price.
1. The Unknown Accordion Player. No one knows this guys real name. He only plays at night, when he thinks no one is listening. By day, he ridicules accordion music and makes fun of the talented people who keep the music alive. Keep a sharp eye out for him, one day he might come out of the closet and take the accordion stage by storm!
--feis dad
